Full disclosure – I’m more of a thick, fluffy pancake kinda guy. But when I have asked the 4yo what she wants for breakfast for the past two weekends, she has insisted on the “flat pancakes”. I’m going to go ahead and assume flat pancakes and crepes are the same thing. I could look it up, but it really doesn’t bother me enough to figure it out. If you haven’t been here before, that’s just the kind of quality and commitment to accuracy that you can expect to get from the self-described “World’s Worst Food Blogger“. Don’t worry though, these crepes (or flat pancakes… whatever) are delicious.
Crepes (AKA Flat Pancakes) Recipe
- 2ish cups of plain flour
- 4 eggs
- 1 cup of full-cream milk
- 1 cup water
- A dash of salt
- 4 tablespoons melted butter
- Cooking oil
I have made this recipe twice. The first time I used all milk and the 2nd 1/2 milk, 1/2 water. I definitely preferred the half-half version. Don’t be too precious with the quantities – there is definitely some room for error (within reason. Don’t blame me if it’s no good).
- 1 cup. It doesn’t matter which cup, just use the same one to measure the flour and the wet ingredients
- A blender (I use the Breville Kitchen Wizz 8 Plus blender attachment). I’m sure this is cheating, but if you have hungry kids there is no time for delicate hand-mixing
- A heavy-based frypan
- Metal spatula
- Enlist a preschool-aged-child to pour the four into the blender. Briefly question your life choices as you scoop up spilt flour and add it to the blender. Be thankful that this recipe does not rely on accuracy.
- Crack the eggs into the blender. Note that the four year old will laugh every time you accidentally drop the shell in with the good bits, even if you don’t find it very funny.
- Add the milk and water. If you were using a bowl and whisk you would do this slowly while diligently mixing to ensure an even texture. But you are doing this dad-style, with a hungry 4yo asking if it is ready yet and a hungry 1yo in your right arm who will scream blue-murder if you put him down. So dump it all in and let the blender do the work.
- Panic that all the liquid won’t fit in the blender. Give it a bit of a poke with a spoon and watch as the flour begins to mix in with the milk, thereby removing some of the air pockets and freeing up space. It fits!
- Blend it good! You will have to lift the lid several times to poke the flour that has stuck to the sides of the blender. This will be an excellent opportunity for the mixture attached to the lid to splatter its self all over you. Don’t worry, the 4yo will think it is the funniest thing in the world. She won’t stop talking about it for three days straight.
- Once fully blended leave the mixture to sit for 20-mins to half an hour… Who am I kidding? I didn’t do it and you won’t either. It still came out okay.
- Heat the pan over a medium-high heat. Lightly brush with oil.
- Realise you forgot to add the salt. Quickly pour a little in to the mixture – you can’t be bothered finding a measuring spoon. Give it a stir – she’ll be right! It probably doesn’t even matter if you forget it altogether… probably.
- When the pan is hot, pour 1/4cupish of the mixture into the pan and gently swirl it around until the entire base is covered evenly. You will need to put the toddler down. Don’t worry – he will find ways to entertain himself.
- Use a spatula to gently lift the crepe and have a look at the bottom side. Does it look edible? If yes, than flip it. If it still looks raw, leave it a little longer. If it looks burnt, swear and flip it anyway. You will probably end up eating it while enjoying a relaxing cry during the Broncos game tonight once the kids go to bed.
- Once the 2nd side looks edible, remove it from the pan.
- Brush a tiny amount of oil on the pan and repeat the process… many, many times. The kids will help you to pass the time by repeatedly asking “is it ready yet?” and stating “I’m hungry”. The toddler will helpfully unpack the miscellaneous draw of mysterious kitchen appliances. This will keep you on your toes as he has a reputation for finding the most dangerous thing in any room within seconds of entering it.
- Continue until you have a large pile of flat pancake crepes. Stop only to wrestle large knives off the toddler. He will cry, but don’t fall for the tears – he doesn’t actually need a knife.
- Cover some of the crepes in whatever finely chopped fruit you have available and give them to the kids.
- Discretely cover your crepes in something that is full of sugar while the kids are distracted. Roll them up quickly so that the kids don’t notice. You could join them at the table and hope you’ve hidden your shameful act well enough, or you could scoff it hunched over in the kitchen like some kind of deranged wild animal that has just wrestled half a chicken carcass from the bin in the park. The choice is yours!
- Better clean up that mess before the spilt batter sets on the bench top. Trust me on this one.