Part One – The Brief
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, it to retrieve the mobile phone from the room of the sleeping infant. You left it in there, about two hours ago, when your baby demanded that you get off Twitter and pay her some attention.
The mission will not be easy. Many have tried before you and few have succeeded. Some dangers can be foreseen, and all reasonable measures have been taken to mitigate these. We have, after all, checked on the monitor and your baby is fast asleep (at least, it looks like she’s fast asleep).
Other dangers cannot be predicted. The path between you and your mobile phone is a constantly changing landscape strewn with soft toys, squeaky toys, discarded clothes, building blocks, motorised trains and various other hard, plastic objects. During daylight hours, these objects are your allies, offering distraction and entertainment to your baby, but in the darkness of night, reinforced by block-out blinds, they become silent, deadly adversaries.
At stake in this mission are two highly-prized players in your bid to retain your wafer-thin grasp on sanity: Number one, Your mobile phone – your connection to friends, the wider world, videos of cute animals, opinions of people you don’t care about and the ramblings of your favourite dad-blogger. Number two, your baby’s sleep – a precious gift from above, that affords you an opportunity to once again act like a real human-being (as opposed to a poop-scooping, food-scraping, song-singing human jungle-gym).
Complete your mission successfully and you will have both – you may even like to bask in the success of your mission by triumphantly posting about it on social media, using the retrieved device.
But, failure will undoubtedly result in tens of minutes, if not hours, of trying to resettle your once-sleeping, now irate, child. You will probably also have to weather several days of disapproving looks and head shakes from your significant other, who was really quite enjoying his/her glass of wine and book before you ruined sleep forever.
The choice is yours, Parent. The rewards are great, but the risks are high.
I took on the mission. Did I succeed or did I fail? Find out in Part Two- Totally Worth It