Tag: growth

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Is My Toddler Ready for Childcare?

We are currently attempting to navigate our way through the dilemma that many modern parents face – should we send our toddler to childcare?

Next year she will turn two and we are aware that as she gets older, her need for social interaction with other children grows. While she gets some of this a the local park, a regular place in a childcare centre, in which she can begin to develop friendships with familiar people is becoming more attractive. Also, the exposure to trained early childhood educators can’t hurt.

But is Hannah ready? It’s a big change to spend time away from family and around people who are (at least to begin with) complete strangers. Hannah can, at times come across as shy. She sometimes hides her face when in new environments or when surrounded by unfamiliar people. At other times Hannah is playful and engaging. She has shown an interest in other kids.

To get a feel for what to expect, Emma and I organised to visit some of our local centres. While each one was vastly different (this is a topic for a whole different post) one thing was for sure – Hannah would be quite at home in any of them.

Some of the moments throughout the day that made us feel confident Hannah is ready for childcare…


Join the queue

We were standing in a brightly-lit hallway at the first childcare centre. As the director waxed lyrical about the difficulties that some two year-olds have with adjusting to the setting, she seemed completely oblivious to the actions of Hannah. She had watched a door open and a small army of toddlers file out into the hallway.

Hell-bent on joining them, Hannah had squirmed out of my arms and run the length of the hallway. She neatly joined the back of their line as they headed out the door leading to the outdoor play area. I left Emma and the director chatting away to rescue Hannah, moments before she had crossed the threshold and was part of the day’s activities for good. I returned to the conversation, holding a madly kicking little girl. Given half a chance, Hannah was ready to join in. She didn’t even think twice about glancing back to her parents to say goodbye.


Let me in

At the second childcare centre, Hannah was even more determined to join the fun. She wriggled her way out of my arms early on and made a beeline for the outdoor play area. She stood and looked longingly at the children playing on the other side of the fence, until a kind-hearted centre educator took pity on her and invited us to come on over and join in. I opened the gate and Hannah was off. Again, she didn’t think to look back. She suddenly had unfettered access to a yard full of kids, some younger, some older and some her age.

As is Hannah’s way, she soon found an older girl who took her under her wing and looked after her as she climbed the nearest balance beam. Hannah then abandoned her new friend and went to join a young boy who was sitting on the ground, spinning a contraption. He happily allowed her to join in, and together they spun the device around and around, until more kids came over and joined in.

Hannah eventually left that party and went to play by herself in the sandpit. She finally walked over to a seesaw, which she happily operated by herself for a few minutes. The whole time, she never once looked around to see where I was. I could have dropped her and run, and as long as someone fed, changed and played with her, she wouldn’t have cared one bit.


Must be getting hungry

By the time we visited the third childcare centre, we were feeling pretty good. Hannah had demonstrated enjoyment and a willingness to explore without direct parental supervision. We were surprised by how comfortable she had felt in both places. Nothing, however, had prepared us for her next demonstration of her willingness to attend childcare.

The director of the third centre was taking us on a tour and we entered the 0-2 room. Seated at a small table on little chairs, and on an assortment of high chairs was a gaggle of babies and toddlers. At first I was slightly disturbed. They were all sitting silently and looking directly at us. Obviously they were waiting for lunch and well-used to the drill.

Hannah, however, did not know what was going on. She looked at the other children then looked up at us. She grinned a big grin, then toddled over to the table, pulled the one remaining seat out and sat herself down with the rest of the kids. There she sat, a big grin on her face. She looked at the little girl next to her who shot back a similarly toothy smile. Hannah was in her element. She had no idea what was going on, yet she assessed the situation and summed it up perfectly. It was clear that her thought process was “if everyone else is sitting, I should too”.

I delicately removed Hannah from the table and we continued on our tour. She diligently waved goodbye to the other kids and the various staff, who had just begun bringing out food. I heard the now familiar “she’s sooo cute!” whispered from one educator to another as we headed out the door.

When we finally made it to the play area, the older kids were busy at play. Once again, Hannah toddled off without so much as a glance back in our direction. She played with the other children for a while, then they headed inside to eat their lunch. Hannah wasn’t bothered, she set about making her own fun while we finished our discussion with the director.

At some point I glanced over at Hannah. She had made her way to the kitchen play area. She was banging away in the sink, then she quickly lifted a spoon to her mouth. I wasn’t bothered, she often pretends to eat from her toy spoons at home. Then I looked a little closer. There was something white in her mouth. I excused myself and walked over to Hannah, who was now happily sitting on the floor. She was clearly munching away at something.

“What do you have in your mouth?” I asked. Hannah looked up and grinned at me. Specks of dirt surrounded her lips. I quickly stuck my fingers into her mouth and retrieved a sizeable pebble.

I hoped that the director hadn’t seen it. This was the best childcare centre that we had visited and the one to which I wanted to send Hannah. I couldn’t stand the thought of her already being labelled as “the rock eater”. Reputations can be hard to shake.



Hannah is more ready for childcare than we possibly could have imagined. In another six months-time she will be even more outgoing and adventurous. It is obvious she thrives on social interactions and imagination-based play. Whereas before I was still quite apprehensive about the idea of sending Hannah to childcare, now I’m almost excited about the prospect.

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The Book and The Staircase

Having a toddler is fun. Much more fun than a baby. They are interactive and mobile. They live to learn, to explore. They have just begun the great journey of understanding the world around them and it is a delight to observe.


With exploration comes experimentation, and in Hannah we undoubtedly have a budding scientist. She observes and she examines everything in her world. For the past few months her favourite toys have been the ones that involve stacking or nesting objects.


Sometimes, however, the inquisitive mind of a toddler drives them to conduct “experiments” that have less than desirable outcomes for us adults. Experiments with food, excrement, paints and crayons are well documented by frustrated an bemused parents across the globe. Thankfully, we have not had too many of those yet.


Hannah’s latest series of experiments are firmly planted within the field of physics. She is obsessed by the movement of objects and she appears to have a burning desire to push everything within reach to its breaking point. Her mechanical toy train, for example, was recently placed on top of the lounge and then sent on its merry journey. As it recited the ABC, it elegantly performed a front half-flip and landed upside-down on the hard tiles – song still blaring in the vaguely annoying American accent. Hannah’s reaction to this was, of course, to immediately pick it up and try to repeat the process.


Today, Hannah decided to take her physics experiments to the next level. She had been sitting on the floor next to me, happily pulling novels off of the bookshelf while I sat and typed. This activity has never bothered me too much, she is normally reasonably delicate with the books, often choosing to flick through the pages or admire the pictures on the front covers.


However, this time she suddenly stood up. In her hand was The Bourne Trilogy – a hefty book. Purposefully, she looked out of the door and towards the staircase. A plan had formed in her mind – an experiment to test the effect of gravity on the humble paperback. In an instant, Hannah was off. Trailing close behind her was me. I had seen the look in her eye and almost immediately I knew what she was up to.


A part of me – the responsible, adult part of me – knew that the experiment had to be stopped. After all, children cannot be lefty to throw objects down stairs according to their whims. Imagine the chaos! Another part of me – the perpetually juvenile – insisted that the experiment be allowed to continue. What harm could come from it?


The adult side won the battle this time and so I called out to Hannah “stop, don’t throw the book”. Despite my speedy reaction, Hannah had reached the top of the staircase first. The sound of my voice had interrupted her, mid wind-up. Hannah turned around and faced me. Despite her young age and inability to understand the specific words, Hannah knows an instruction when she hears one. Comprehension dawned as she looked at me, then down as the book in her hands. She turned back to look at the staircase, then she looked back up at me again.


An internal struggle was undoubtedly raging in her little mind. It was written all over her tiny face. In direct competition was the burning desire to complete her experiment – to add to her growing neurological catalogue of “things that happen when I throw stuff”, while at the same time she wished to please the “bringer of afternoon snacks” (me) by doing as I asked.


“Can I please have the book?” I asked, while inching closer to Hannah, who was still standing in her commanding position at the top of the stairs. Once again she looked at me, at my outstretched hand. Once again, she turned back to look at the stairs. It was now or never. Shortly I would be in a position to grasp the book and the opportunity to conduct the experiment would be lost.


Hannah wasted no more time, she heaved the book above her head and hurled it with all her might. It spun through the air in slow motion and gracefully cleared the first five stairs. On the sixth it landed with a thud. The spine-side corner hit the steps. The pages splayed open. The book tumbled down a further four steps, then stopped.


Hannah smiled and let out a pleased sound. Her experiment was complete and the results were very satisfying indeed. I looked at her and tried to hide my smile. Despite my best efforts at presenting as an adult to Hannah, I had undeniably enjoyed watching the spectacular journey of the book almost as much as she had. Despite the hard landing, no damage had been done to the book. I appreciated that Hannah had formulated, then conducted an interesting experiment.


Do I want Hannah to throw books down the stairs on a regular basis? No, of course not. But I don’t believe she will. If she does persist with doing it, it is then my job to teach her that it is not appropriate. Some may suggest that I have made this task harder for myself by failing to stop it the first time, but I’m not so sure. My observations of Hannah to this point lead me to believe that she gets great satisfaction from turning the unknown into the known. It is possible that had I stopped her the first time, her desire to throw books down the stairs may have grown.


I could be wrong. Maybe I’ve created a monster. Time will tell…

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No Longer My Little Baby Girl

To my darling daughter,

I have come to realise something recently. It’s something that makes me feel slightly sad. Yet at the same time, it’s uplifting, exciting. I have come to realise that you are no longer my little baby girl.

I feel sadness because for the past 16 months, a tiny little helpless baby has been my whole world. I’ve adored you, I’ve soaked in your precious little features. I’ve watched and admired every little change, every development, every milestone. I’ve held you and talked to you, I’ve sung to you and played with you. All the while, you were my baby.

Now, quite clearly, you are not my baby. You are a toddler. A little girl who is very quickly growing. You have boundless energy, creativity, opinions and independence. You are in control and able to communicate your likes and your displeasure. This is all wonderful, it truly is! But a part of me will always hold dear the precious first few months of your life.

While I think back fondly to the incredible little baby you were, I also deeply love the toddler who you’ve become. You amaze me every day with something new. You freely share your smiles and laughter, and every time you do, it brightens up the world. You find pleasure in little things and you appear to enjoy the funny side of life! I hope that sticks with you as you grow. The world is already far too full of serious people doing serious things with serious looks on their faces. People who wouldn’t spot a joke if it fell on them like a grand piano – cartoon-style. But the world is a fun place and a funny place. It is yours to enjoy.

You are a great communicator. You make it clear what you want and when you want it. You are not afraid to ask for things or to put forward your opinion. Never be afraid to do these things. You express enjoyment, wonder and displeasure in the most clear ways. And you listen. I’ve never seen someone concentrate so intently on my face when I speak to them as you do. You want so much to understand every word that I say.

You love to move. The development of walking has opened up your little world and you take full advantage of it. You walk whenever you get the chance and you have no problem with covering large distances. You’ve even started moving very quickly. I feel that running is not far away.

One of your favourite things to do now that you are a toddler is read books. You climb up into my lap, on the chair in your room and you demand that I lift you up. Your eyes dart across the shelf until you find a book that takes your fancy. Your little hand shoots out and firmly grasps your prize. I lower you back into my lap and together we explore the book. Sometimes I read it to you from cover to cover. Other times you flick through the pages and we discuss the pictures. You know all sorts of animals and the sound that they make (although you still have trouble spotting the bees, even though you know what sound they make). Often, when one book is done, the request for a second is loud and immediate.

Sometimes you eat as much as I do! Your palate is fairly diverse, although you do have a tendency to favour carbs and dairy. You have excellent spoon control, although sometimes you try to fit far too much into your tiny mouth at once! I love sitting down with you and mum at meal time. I hope that as you grow, dinner will be a time to sit as a family and talk about all manner of things.

My darling girl, know that I loved the baby that you were, and the toddler that you are. Know that together we have created incredible memories, and that I appreciate every second that I have with you in the present. Little one, know that I look forward to the wide expanse of the future and all that it may hold for you. You may no longer be my little baby girl, but I will always be your dad.



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My Sunday Photo – From Destruction to Construction

My Sunday Photo for this week is of Hannah’s first Mega Bloks construction

This photo represents the reaching of a significant milestone for Hannah. It is a record of the first time that she has successfully constructed something with blocks.

She has been playing with blocks for a long time, but that play has involved watching me build things, then knocking them down. She has had destruction mastered for many months now. But this week, she took herself over to the block container and started building.

Every block on the contraption was placed there by Hannah. I was particularly impressed with how tall she made her tower. She was also tenacious in building it, as on many occasions it fell down. Each time, Hannah examined the pieces and found a better way to put them together.

When Hannah completed her construction, she drove it around for a while making ‘brmm brmm’ noises. As if I wasn’t proud enough already…


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The Toothbrush and The Tiny Teeth

Sometimes good parenting comes down to patience. Something that seems hopeless and unachievable for weeks, even months on end, can, all of a sudden be realised.

This was our experience with Hannah and the toothbrush. From the moment the first little peg popped through her pink gums, we knew we would have to take good care of it and all the rest that followed. Oral hygiene is fundamental to overall health and developing good habits from an early age seems like a worthwhile investment in Hannah’s future.

But, it hasn’t been easy to get started. In fact, it’s been downright difficult.

In the beginning…

We introduced Hannah to the concept of a toothbrush by first using a damp cloth to wipe her tiny teeth. Emma began attempting to brush her teeth at night, after the feed and before sleep. To say that Hannah was reluctant is an understatement – she downright fought it. She was uncomfortable with the feeling of a cloth in her mouth and, as she was already tired from a long day, she didn’t have the patience to give it a go.

After a little while Hannah became more willing to allow the cloth into her mouth. Emma made up a tooth-brushing song, which Hannah appeared to like and she did a great job of making it part of the night routine. After a few weeks we began to introduce a teeth-brushing before the mid-day nap. Hannah was now familiar with the process and much more willing to participate. She was also less tired at that point in the day, so more willing to give something a go.

After a month or two, Hannah would happily open her mouth for the cloth. She did, however, sometimes decide to put her newfound chompers into action mid-brush, the result of which was tiny little teeth marks in parental fingers. One time recently, she even managed to draw blood from Emma.

All of this was good. It was progress towards our ultimate goal. But it wasn’t our ultimate goal. The regular use of a toothbrush was.

Introducing the toothbrush

Hannah was far more suspicious of the toothbrush. She eyed it sideways from the moment it appeared on the shelf during the bedtime rituals. Initial attempts to get it anywhere near her mouth resulted in tears, flailing limbs and a general sense of frustration for all involved.

This didn’t seem to get easier. In fact, it felt like it became worse. Hannah became anxious about the toothbrush well before it was brought anywhere near her face. She made it very clear that under no circumstances was it to go anywhere near her mouth. This happened for weeks. Long enough that Emma and I became a little concerned about how long-term it was going to be, and whether we would ever be able to convince Hannah of the necessity of the toothbrush.

During this time Emma was fantastic. She persisted each night with presenting Hannah with the toothbrush. She took her own toothbrush in each night and showed Hannah what she did with hers. Hannah watched with great interest, but still she was reluctant to allow the toothbrush near her mouth.

During the day I would give Hannah her toothbrush and ask her if she would like to give it a go. She was willing enough to hold it for a few minutes, and during that time she would look at it intently. I told her what is was and what it was for, as did Emma when she went through the same routine at night. Each time was the same, Hannah didn’t want it in her mouth, but she was happy enough around it. We still had to use the cloth each time to thoroughly clean her ever-growing collection of teeth.

Eventually Hannah came to the point where she was happy to put the toothbrush to her lips. However, she still instantly fought back whenever we tried to get it any further. The whole endeavour felt pointless and we really worried about whether she would ever accept the toothbrush.

Then, a couple of days ago, she opened her mouth and put it right it. She felt the texture of the brush with her tongue and teeth, and she decided it was okay after all. Since that point she has been happy to let us brush her teeth properly. If anything, she even appears to enjoy it… sometimes.

Every good story needs a moral…

I have found, time and time again, that things seem hopeless right up until the point that they are not. Patience and persistence are two of the most powerful tools that a parent has. The end goal may be months away, or it may just be a day away. It all feels the same until it happens. But in the end, the effort is always worth it.

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The Importance of The Local Park

There are some downsides to compact family living. Obviously, sacrifices need to be made for a family to occupy a smaller footprint than that of the traditional family home. Often, that sacrifice is most felt in the backyard. That’s where the local park becomes vitally important.

When I think back to my childhood (perhaps through rose-tinted glasses), the backyard was very much a key feature. We were lucky enough to live in houses with expansive areas (at least from my tiny perspective) in which to play and explore. I spent countless hours playing with balls, toys or mud. Sometimes we used nothing more than the combined imaginations of my brothers and me to make our own games.

At our townhouse we have a small backyard, but it’s really not conducive to the running around and exploration that I had as a child. I don’t want Hannah to miss out on those experiences either, as I believe they were such a fundamentally important part of my formative years. I want Hannah to develop a love of the outdoors and a desire to explore and experience all the things that nature and life has to offer.

The local park – Ideal replacement for the family backyard?

Since Hannah has been mobile enough to gain enjoyment from outside play, we have made it our business to get to know all of the parks in our immediate vicinity. Each one offers something different and none of them are perfect. But, together they offer the opportunity to somewhat replicate the ‘backyard’ experiences of my childhood.

The little toddler playground a few blocks away offers well-maintained play equipment that is very suitable for Hannah’s age. She can easily navigate her way to the top of the slide and on to the platforms. It also has some equipment that she is not yet able enough to use, so there is scope to continue to ‘grow into’ the little playground. It doesn’t offer much in the way of nature though.

Other playgrounds within easy walking distance offer equipment that is more suitable for older kids. For Hannah, these are still very much interesting places to explore. If nothing else, she enjoys sitting in the wood chips or digging through the mud. She seems happy enough to spend a full ten minutes picking up handfuls of wood chips and letting them drop through her fingers.

Other areas offer nothing in the way of play equipment, yet they provide grass and trees, and shrubs. Some even offer small creeks. They are the places that will come into their own as Hannah grows into a little toddler who wants to run, hide and explore. They are an attractive ‘blank canvas’, on which Hannah and her friends will be able to imagine up all kinds of games and experiences. These wonderful strips of green in suburban Sydney will be the backdrop to the great mum/dad and daughter moments – learning to kick a ball, to ride a bike, to catch a tadpole.

The downside of a small backyard

Of course, there are downsides to not having a large backyard. Hannah will require constant supervision for many years to come as she uses these facilities. I can’t yet even imagine the day that she asks to go to the park by herself, or with a friend. To be honest, the thought fills me with a mild panic, even at this very early stage.

We have to travel, even if it’s just a couple of minutes walk down the road. Sometimes Hannah is reluctant to sit in her stroller, so that means being carried to and from the park. It can also put us off making the effort if the weather is looking a little questionable. That’s something that is not an issue when you have your own backyard – just play until it rains!

The benefits of the local park

But there are many, many benefits too. Hannah has already begun to benefit from the social interactions that the park provides. As an only child with no cousins, regular play and interaction with and around other children is vitally important. It is something Hannah just wouldn’t find in her own backyard. Hannah consistently shows that she finds great joy in other kids. I definitely see it as my responsibility to ensure she has ample opportunities.

The lack of a large backyard also means less maintenance for Emma and me. A large backyard requires a large upkeep. That is time that would have to come from somewhere, and that somewhere would be our play time with Hannah. Our small strip of grass takes a matter of minutes to run a push-mower over. Every now and then, the plants need a few minutes with the hose. When we want a larger piece of grass on which to play, some kind council worker has already put in the hard yards of maintenance. We just have to turn up and enjoy it.

The final benefit of fully utilising the local parks around us is that it gets us out of the house. It is far too easy for me to become comfortable within these four walls. Despite living what I regard to be fairly modest life, this townhouse contains so many things that can entertain me and consume me. If I’m not careful, I could easily go for days without seeing sunlight. The knowledge that I need to get Hannah out to a park (almost) every day is a wonderful motivating factor.

And as soon as I step out into the fresh air and am surrounded by the trees and grass and people and bird-life, I’m reminded of why these experiences are so important. It is good for the soul, it refreshes and energises, it relaxes and helps me to regain perspective. When I go to the park with Hannah it takes me away from all the other stresses and strains of grown-up life, and it places me wholly within that moment. It forces me to be fully present and to enjoy the shared experiences with Hannah.


Sydney’s best parks and playgrounds

I have begun a mission to find Sydney’s best large parks and playgrounds. These are the ones that I will review regularly as part of my Family Fun in Sydney section. I began with the amazing Carss Bush Park – very much worth a day trip! Check back regularly as Hannah and I uncover more great parks. Also, please leave any suggestions for our next place to explore in the Sydney area.

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The First Steps

Ah milestones. The bringers of great joy and anxiety.

Those of you familiar with this blog will know that I try to not take milestones too seriously. I have, more or less, held the view that things will happen with Hannah when they happen, and that I will enjoy the journey along the way.

I do, of course, encourage Hannah and I try to provide her with as much stimulation and support as possible, to build all of her skills. But what I don’t do is compare her growth to others, or stress when she isn’t the quickest to achieve a milestone. After all, Hannah has proven time and time again that she does these things on her own terms, when she is good and ready.

My resolve to ignore comparisons has only really been tested once – at a joint first birthday party for all of the babies in Emma’s Mother’s group. I was slightly taken back by all the standing and walking tiny tots, and I briefly wondered whether Hannah’s development was on track.

A quick check of the internet assured me that, as with all milestones, there is a wide window of normal development and Hannah sits well within that. Armed with the knowledge that Hannah still had several months before I needed to be in any way concerned, I got straight back into the job of enjoying each moment with my little girl.


The past Few Months…

My genuine belief is that Hannah has been capable of walking for a while now. She has always been keen on standing and, often when playing while standing, she had let go of furniture to pass toys between hands or reach for objects. She has demonstrated excellent balance and she is happy to walk for long distances, if she has a parent’s hands to hold on to. However, when it came to letting go intentionally, Hannah had so far been reluctant.

That all changed a few weeks ago. For the first time, Hannah pushed herself up off the floor, completely independently. The signs were there that she was nearly ready to give it a shot. Since that day, she had practised standing over and over and over again. She had even managed to turn it in to a game.

There were two things that struck me over the last couple of weeks as I watched Hannah practise – firstly, she is tenacious. Once she has an idea in her head or a goal in mind, she doesn’t give up on it easily. The second is that she does it all with a smile on her face. This little girl loves learning and I adore that about her.


Finally, on Easter Monday, the time came for her to give this walking thing a real crack. We were sitting around and enjoying good company. Hannah was doing her thing, furniture cruising and exploring her surroundings.

As I absent-mindedly watched her, Hannah let go of the furniture and took a step before grabbing back on. Just one. It happened quickly and it was one of those moments when you question what you saw.

“Did she just take a step?” I asked Emma and the rest of the family. None of us were too sure.

I sat down on the floor, a few small steps away from Hannah.

“Will you walk to me?” I asked. I held out my hands and, with a big grin, Hannah let go of the coffee table and took a couple of wobbly steps in my direction.

I could have rushed to get the camera before that, but I didn’t. I don’t really care that I didn’t capture this moment on film, because I was fully present when it happened. There will be plenty of other opportunity to record some wobbly stepping, but in that moment, I was just there to enjoy it and share it.

Hannah has stepped several times since. She is gradually building her confidence and, like with her standing, she practises when she wants and on her terms.

One final anecdote…

The second time that Hannah walked was the next day. Emma and I were playing with Hannah on the landing between the bedrooms of our townhouse. I was in Hannah’s room and Emma and Hannah were on the landing. Hannah scooted into her room at lightning pace (she is an incredibly quick crawler) and she shut the door behind her – this is the latest evolution in our never-ending games of hide-and-seek. After shutting the door, she stood straight up.

“Are you going to walk?” I asked Hannah. With a big grin she stepped forward. One foot, then the other. She walked a total of five steps.

“Open the door quickly, she’s walking!” I yelled to Emma.

Emma opened the door just in time to see a standing baby drop back onto her bottom, a big grin on her face. Due to Hannah’s love of all things hide-and-seek, Emma had just missed her best walking so far.


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